Remember how I talked about the Scoutmaster in one of my previous notes? Well, here he is! I made him a background story and made in the form of a NARRATIVE MONOLOGUE!!!!!!
Enjoy.
-Scoutmaster Monologue-
Enjoy.
-Scoutmaster Monologue-
You may wonder.
Why I am the Scoutmaster,
A man with the brain
A guy with the rulebook,
Following the rules is the plain
Essentials to a moderate lifestyle.
I take your kids in; I take them on trips,
By the fly on my short shorts,
I won't let them down.
I shout out my love for the wild,
The bears and the bees,
Scents that are quite mild
And a deer when it pees.
When the urine is fresh, I stick in my nose,
I stop and sit back, looking at the moss that grows;
What the thing is that the parents don't understand
That life in the woods isn't as crazy as it seems.
Rabies and poison ivy is where it's at,
Mouthwash and toilet paper if you learn to improvise;
Oh my, what the outdoors is!
It is such a wonder and such a glorious day,
Would it be a shock if I told you I wasn't gay?
Like it or not, I taught your kids to use guns,
Don't you dare yell at me, it wasn't for puns.
Next time you're out in the woods
You might get attacked by a bear,
Don't ask for my help
If you can't scare him off.
If your kids act like a dog that begs,
They will help me shave my legs;
Oh, what a life it is...
To take a stroll in the outdoors.
To look for creatures like boars,
Gazing across the street for whores.
Oh, the child's mind, what a device;
A tape recorder, evidence for a lawsuit.
Accused of violating children,
Corrupting their minds.
I told the judge "I did nothing of the sort."
He glared down at me, after calling me 'Sport';
I reached into my knapsack
And pulled out a dead skunk,
Then I told him "If you send me away,
I'll stick this in your bed."
After squirming in fear, he let me go.
I ran out of the courtroom,
Shouting "Honey, I'm home!"
You may think I'm a monster
Or a perverted, bad man,
Don't worry, sweet pea....
I'm the Scoutmaster, man.
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